Grow-vember and An End to ‘Shavery’

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014

October blossomed into a month of pride, nostalgia and remembrance. The Royals went the distance in the World Series, and although they did not win the very statue, they did manage to win the hearts and minds of a world full of baseball fans who were reminded that this can be, and often is a gentlemen’s sport.  It’s not just an obscenely well paid Summer job. This game can be played by athletes who are happy to be there, hurt or healthy, ready to make a win.  This years team was a humble and young(ish) group of baseball “people-persons”, graciously reaching out to fans, especially as the fervor of a championship built in Kansas City.  Well, they won more this year then any joy a trophy could possibly give them. They brought attention and recognition to a town plagued by decades of mediocre sports, played either in Kauffman Stadium or its next door neighbor Arrowhead. The fans themselves got to show their true (Blue) colors as some of the most welcoming folks, east of the Missouri and west of the Mississippi. How often do you get to host a championship? It brings out the best in people!

Halloween, my favorite holiday was celebrated with perfection! My girlfriend and I decided to throw a 1st annual karaoke costume party at a former funeral home in Koreatown! The party was a success. Everyone had a blast. It rained that night (in LA, unheard of) and we all had a dry place to celebrate, be off the roads and sing the night away! Soop Sok, the karaoke studio in question, was the perfect place to have it. There will be a 2nd annual!

So, we’re two days into November. In recognition of men’s sexual health, many of us guys who can grow beards, will do just that. Called, MO-vember or No Shave November, you know, because these days, men need a really good reason to grow facial hair…….(snark).  This Follicular Festival reminds us men that we have two balls, that are already in a vulnerable place on our bodies and are even more vulnerable to Cancer. I will be growing a beard, but it will be in boycott to Gillette, Schick, Bic and the like, to break the cycle of “Shavery”.  Razor blades are too fucking expensive and “Health and Beauty”companies (because those two concepts are mutually exclusive) have us by the ‘short and curlies’…irony. Shaving companies tell beauty mags to tell dumb young girls that they actually prefer ‘clean shaven men’. Dumb young girls implore their men that if they want ‘any of this’ they better keep that face smooth. We do the same thing to women; shaved legs, shaved pits, waxed lips preferred.  And if most of us want to pay rent and eat, then we will follow the ‘grooming guidelines’ set forth by our employers…which means…shave.  Genetic Predisposition + Grooming Policies  = Being a slave to the blade.  So why don’t the shaving companies empathize with 99.9% of the population that grow hair by the second, and cut prices for a while? Because they’re greedy assholes that have a true monopoly on the general public, with a constant stream of demand that they have the supply for.  That’s why.  If they dropped prices on razor blades with all their idiotic “5 blades is better than 4 blades” marketing campaign, they would be committing ‘Hair-acy’.  And you know some hairless brown child is sitting in some sweat-shop assembling this technology for pennies on the dollar, all so I can look like ‘Mad Men’. Awesome.

To hear more rants like this, in the month of November, you can see me next Sunday 11/9/14, at 7pm in the ‘Seismic Show’, Hosted by good friend and regular beard owner Jim Coughlin! Located at Muse on 8th, 759 S. La Brea! Other booked shows and fun to come! Tis the season to be funny..ha ha ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha, ha.

Lastly, I would like to thank Krysta Florczyk and The Whiskey Blu for putting me up these last two Monday nights! Fun to do a show with a laughing audience, from time to time. And of cause Reign, for getting me out there to book some commercial work! Snagged a spot I shot two weeks ago!  Be ready to see me get hit with a slushy…cross that off the acting bucket list.